problems / grindr
67. The Unsolicited Attachment
Three messages into a perfectly pleasant chat, an image arrives. It is not a picture of his dog. It is not a picture of his face. Nobody asked. Handle the unsolicited attachment with the grace of someone who has standards and the calm of someone who has, regrettably, seen the grid before.
inputattachment.jpg — subject: definitely not his face. requested: false. context: you were discussing brunch.22:04
wrong answerMatching energy you never asked for (escalation), delivering a full lecture on consent theory (he is not reading it), or screenshotting it for the group chat (rule zero — confidentiality covers the cursed content too).✗ not delivered
accepted"Bold. I was still on the brunch question, but the confidence is noted. Circling back: waffles or pancakes? This matters more."read 22:09 ✓✓
Constraints
- Consent is the content-type negotiation. Anything spicier than a selfie gets asked about first — sent AND received. No exceptions for 'but the vibe.'
- Decline with humor if you like; shame is off the table. You're declining a message, not sentencing a person.
- Rule zero applies at full strength: no screenshots, no forwards, no group chat. His questionable judgment does not suspend his confidentiality.
- Repeat offenders owe you nothing further: the block button accepts no essay and requires no notice period.
- If you actually wanted that energy — say so honestly and this stops being a problem. The issue is the surprise, not the spice.
Hints
- "Not what I ordered, but the confidence is noted" declines and de-escalates in nine words.
- It's rarely personal — it's a broadcast. Half the grid received the same attachment. You're not special; you're load-balanced.
- State the preference once, lightly: "ask first — surprises are for birthdays." Whoever respects that just passed a real screening question.